One must keep his mind active, so I began jotting down a few of these “you like, I dislike” items.
When it reached 500, it was time to stop and regroup, so I threw felt-tipped darts at the computer screen while blindfolded (the same way 20-something-year-old bar managers select a beer list) and came up with just these ten, which likely will change on a daily basis as the outrages against taste and decency pile up.
Dishonorable mentions would extend all the way to Keokuk, so they’ve been omitted.
10 Disney escapism in all its insipid permutations. Adults behaving as children? That’s precisely why we can’t have nice things. Try reading a damn book, eh?
09 Soft drinks, soda pop, etc. I value my teeth a bit too much.
08 Chain restaurants — and no, a locally-owned franchise isn’t a “mom ‘n’ pop. It’s still someone else’s idea, not yours, and equates to money leaving the community.
07 Scented candles, cologne and varied imposed odors. I have allergies, and foo-foo hurts my head.
06 Auto-Tune, which sounds like metallic androids with hernias screeching their non-existent souls out.
05 The oligarchs. It’s time to eat the rich, folks.
04 Swimming, because I’ve never yet found a way to keep the water out of my beer, served as always in a proper glass, not a shaker pint.
03 Firearms, guns, et al, seeing as I’m now 65 years into this experiment of life, not once has a gun initiated an erection.
02 Automobile fetishism: no erections there, either. Try taking a walk instead, lazy boy.
01 Light beer (a.k.a. the dictatorship of the wet air). Michelb Ultra is now the nation’s best selling Pretend Brew. Any real person up for a real beer?
