We’re told that Nov. 15 will be the last day for Pints&union in New Albany prior to the pub’s inglorious “Hail Mary” flight to the Highlands: Here’s the epitaph: “In the end, Pints&union didn’t deserve New Albany.”
I’ll be marking the occasion with appropriately themed music: Speaking of epitaphs, a wonderful song called “Get Out and Stay Out.”
There’ll be daily postings on my NA Archipelago page at Fb, which then will be aggregated here at the website.
Ironically, on Wednesday 9 October LEO Weekly revealed its 2024 Readers’ Choice poll winners. Pints&union captured 2nd place among the tally of best SoIN restaurants, and 3rd place for best SoIN bars.
The LEO poll’s other SoIN winners (Lady Tron’s and The Exchange in food, The Alcove and Wine Shop NA in drink) will NOT be moving to the Highlands, and readers are encouraged to patronize them and celebrate good times, c’mon.
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A mirror emporium? Some of us would prefer not to enter. There is catchy themed music for this otherwise sad occasion: “Hall of Mirrors” (1987), a Kraftwerk cover by the band Siouxsie & The Banshees.
(He) fell in love with the image of (him)self
And suddenly the picture was distorted
Even the greatest stars dislike themselves in the looking glass
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“FFS” refers to a 2015 collaboration between the bands Sparks and Franz Ferdinand, which produced a fabulously witty album of the same name, and concludes with an evocative song called “Piss Off.” In Brit-speak, this means “go away, as used to angrily dismiss someone.” It should be easy to grasp the connection I’m making between FFS and Colonel JP.
Loyal pub regulars now realize that they never measured up; after all, we’re all from New Albany, and unable to grasp genius when it is lowered to us.
Get to the point and point to the open door
Get right to the point and there’s the door
Tell everybody to piss off tonight
Well, they should piss off and leave (us) alone in (our) world tonight
Most will listen and take the hint
Know that this ain’t a compliment
And they should piss off and leave leave (us) alone in (our) world tonight
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Speaking of team (and pub) owners, the song “You’re No Good” was written by Clint Ballard Jr. and first recorded in 1963, although the best known version is Linda Rondstadt’s, which reached Number One on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1974. The sentiment is timeless, and the ancient Sumerians probably had their own version.
Feelin’ better now that we’re through
Feelin’ better, ’cause I’m over you
I learned my lesson, it left a scar
Now I see how you really are
You’re no good
You’re no good
You’re no good
Baby, you’re no good
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Off to the tottering Highlands at the expense of one’s own loyal New Albany pub regulars? It brings to mind famous breakups of the past, like that of The Beatles. Specifically, John Lennon’s “How Do You Sleep?” seems so very applicable to the current situation. Paul’s not Dead; he’s just Joe.
How do you sleep?
How do you sleep at night?
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A better quality of customer in the Highlands surely will boost Pints&union’s fortunes. Color me suspicious. “Send Them Off!” by Bastille, from the band’s 2016 album Wild World, suggests the Colonel might be right. All that’s needed is a ritual cleansing, maybe with Coors Banquet.
I’ve got demons running ’round in my head
And they feed on insecurities I have
Won’t you lay your healing hands on my chest?
Let your ritual (in the Highlands) clean
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When the blessed day arrives, and the ox carts and dog sleds queue out front to convoy the pub’s contents to the Highlands, there’ll be seemingly conflicting emotions like sadness and bitterness. They’re not incompatible. I resemble this remark (and won’t apologize for it). In terms of personal experience, I don’t enjoy ageist scapegoating by ownership, and in terms of the collective, the loyal regulars deserve better. The employees? I feel for them, too. They’re caught in the middle, and just want to make an honest buck from their efforts. The boys from Mötley Crüe have the right idea: “Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away).” Previously, we considered the similar sentiments of Blondie’s in “Go Away.”
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Most of us know this song as the first hit recorded by the Moody Blues. as for Pints&union, since since J’s got to go, oh, he’d better go now (go now, go now).
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“I haven’t been back to Pints since I heard about the move. That was my place, but now I feel betrayed.”
That’s an exact quote from a former regular, and who can blame them? “A Song for Departure” is by Manic Street Preachers from the band’s 2004 album Lifeblood.
Maybe this strangeness only ever was
To hide ourselves from some kind of happiness
But always the moment it just seems to stay
Tearing it off like so many calendar days
This is a song, this is a song
A song to break your heart to
This is a song
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“Whew…this is a Three Mile Island sized disaster.”
That’s another sentiment from a former patron. Were the loyal regulars not loyal or regular enough? The original Three Mile Island disaster occurred in 1979. Two years earlier, the first single from I Robot, the sophomore release by The Alan Parsons, was “I Wouldn’t Want to be Like You.”
If I was high class
I wouldn’t need a buck to pass
And if I was a fall guy
I wouldn’t need no alibi
I don’t care
What you do
I wouldn’t want to be like you
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Soon the pub that boasted a founding New Albany-centric business plan will be beamed from the SoIN flood plain to financial salvation in Louisville. Have you ever wondered why the Jazz NBA franchise kept the name when it moved to Salt Lake City?
But one thing is clear: the Highlands is the Highlands because it’s on a hill. A modestly popular rock/pop band once had a song…
Day after day
Alone on a hill
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still
But nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he never gives an answer
But the fool on the hill sees the Sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning ’round
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In retrospect, ABBA had it sussed all along. We only THOUGHT is was lightweight pop.
Silly us.
High and mighty, his banner flies
A fool’s pride in his eyes
Standing there on his toes
To grow in size
All I see is a big balloon
Halfway up to the moon
He’s wrapped up in the warm
And safe cocoon
If you were always in love with the Highlands, why did you tease us for six years?
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Halloween, 2024. It’s a dress-up holiday with a topical twist: New Albany get tricked, and the Highlands receives the treat, at least until the rent over there goes up, up, up, up, up (shadoobie, shattered) — wait, wrong song.
When the introductory rent discount ends, then it’ll be off yet again, this time to a strip mall in Shively. Reminded of the Dunkirk evacuation in 1940, and awaiting the details of Joe’s 2024 bugout, here’s a classic song by blues legend Bessie Smith called “(We’ve) Been Mistreated and (We) Don’t Like It.”
Once upon a time I stood for all he did
Those days are gone, believe me kid
I’ve been mistreated and I don’t like it
There’s no use to say I do
—
Lyrically, this 1959 hit by Jim Reeves has little to do with the current situation, apart from the appropriateness of the title.
“The song is about a man who’s talking by telephone to the woman he loves, when he realizes that another man is with her.” (Wikipedia)
But that title sure fits. I’ve been asked several times, “what do you think about P&u leaving New Albany?” And I’ve replied, “nothing against staff, and I feel for the regulars, but obviously HE’LL have to go.” Or, as the dictionary reminds us: “Begone is a verb that means to go away, and is often used in the imperative mood. For example, “begone from my sight.”
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There’s no sense in kidding you. The “greatest hits of beer” program I installed at P&u in 2018 is a matter of great pride. Sense and sensibility have always mattered most to me in my beer work, and these selections were conceived as a coherent whole.
They sold well, turned a profit and were there for me to enjoy as a shift beers: Fuller’s, Guinness, Bell’s Two Hearted, Pilsner Urquell, Paulaner, and of course many more.
It’s been just shy of a year since my head went on the chopping block; seems it was my turn to be the latest in a long queue of scapegoats to take the hit for ownership’s shaky decisions. That’s just the way it is, and it’s part of working life for all of us.
BUT … but don’t expect me to praise you for mistakes. I understood at the time that I’d not ever be setting foot again in a joint I did so much to define. I wouldn’t give ownership the pleasure, and while satisfying, it’s also difficult … because I love those beers.
At times during the months since then, I’d think boy, wouldn’t a London Pride taste good right about now (unless it had been replaced by High Life or another desperation heave that’s equally dunderheaded), but no, and then I’d think about Nina Simone’s version of “I Get Along Without You Very Well (Except Sometimes).”
It refers neither to the establishment nor its owner, but to that selection of beers. I do miss them.
By the time we return from vacation, I do hope the building will have been vacated. My feeling are highly personal, and I won’t apologize for them. But the worst thing about this remains the regulars being abandoned.
Come see you in the Highlands? Seriously? Are you out of your fucking mind? As the missus said when the announcement of “Dunkirk to the Highlands” was first made: “Good riddance.”
Don’t forget our hash tag: #pintsskedaddle2024
Previously:
