The wild, wild Right Bank of the Ohio


Not so long ago, one of the downtown bars within extended staggering distance of our place of residence posted a social media notice in search of a doorman/bouncer.

The job description was to check IDs and “break up fights.”

It made me wonder: what kind of joint chooses to do business in such a fashion that it must hire someone to break up fights, rather than adjusting the business model to prevent fights from occurring?

Granted, such adjustment is pro-active. Perhaps reactive is easier, but it’s not my gig, thank you very much. In my perfect world, municipal economic development plans would emphasize clean, well lighted places, not bars and clubs in need of tasers (which in Nawbany, as we know, are better reserved for Lite-swilling public housing tsars).

Barroom behavior is nurture, not nature. The majority of patrons welcome guidance and control. They’ve no desire to have their flirting interrupted by broken glass.

Granted, numerous human beings are stupid, violent, or both; alcohol and whatever other substances they’ve chosen to ingest often exacerbate these proclivities.

It is a source of solace and contentment for me to work in an atmosphere at Pints&union that is purposefully intelligent. It doesn’t mean problems aren’t experienced, but it implies strongly that they’re quite rare.

Spillover isn’t the same as spilling, but no matter. Run your business as you see fit. For me, profiting from the worst angels of our nature isn’t a place I want to be.